Thursday, 23 August 2012

Waiting For Marriage...or Not.

I don't think that God is calling you to wait for marriage. 
Waiting by h.koppdelaney
Waiting, a photo by h.koppdelaney on Flickr.

Now that I have your attention, I'll clarify. What picture comes to mind at the word "wait"? Perhaps it's a pair of hands folded submissively on a lap, a patient dog beside the door, or bored travelers at a bus stop. I've heard some people talk as if single young women should act like this: passive and stagnant. 

But what does God have to say about waiting?

In Matthew 25 Jesus told the parable of ten young women who had to wait all night for wedding festivities to begin. "Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps." When the bridegroom came along, guess which girls were ready to come out and meet him: the ones who were prepared.

I'm a homeschooled girl who has never had a boyfriend (gasp), and yes, sometimes it's difficult to imagine how I will ever meet Mr. Right unless it's through some kind of random accident. At times it's easy to ignore the fact that I'm single and I can throw myself into living a full and meaningful life, but sometimes it's easy to sit back and bemoan my fate, saying, "Well, I guess I have to wait." If you've ever been tempted to say that, then here is a wake-up quote for you:
A girl who lives a static life of waiting to be married is not attractive. Think what it conveys: “I’ll just sit here idly while waiting for someone to come and give me a purpose, and a house and money and food and make me happy and love me.” It’s very needy. A man wants a companion, not a sympathy case. 
-Debi Pearl, Preparing to Be a Helpmeet 
Let me tell you Lydia's story. Lydia is a beautiful woman with a heart on fire for God. For years her friends admired and appreciated her talents and passion, watching as she embarked on mission trips and made beautiful music with her hands and voice. She was cheerful, sweet, funny, adventurous, and strangely single. Why weren't there dozens of eligible young men snapping her up? 

Perhaps Lydia was thinking that too. I've heard her talk about her struggles in this area, how she wanted a husband but God didn't seem to want that for her. Well, she decided, if marriage wasn't part of the plan she would find out what was. So she took a trip to Israel with the sole purpose of praying and seeking God's heart. And guess what: she found a husband! The moment she stopped waiting for God's will and started doing God's will, Mr. Right fell into her life in an amazing way. 

All of this to say, don't wait, girls! Wait for intimacy, wait for giving your heart away, but for Heaven's sake don't wait to do something meaningful and purposeful in this world until you've found a mate. Unfold your hands and stop being "needy," do the things that will prepare you to be an amazing wife and an amazing woman, because you never know who could be watching....


  1. ABBY! Excellent post and goes right along with this book I read recently: Beyond Waiting by Rebekah Snyder. If you choose to check it out, I'd bet you'd like that book!


    1. Thank you, Rachelle! That sounds like a great book, would you like to write a review for the blog?


  2. I heartily agree with you Abby! :) This was something the Lord impressed on my heart a few years ago as well and at 26 it can be hard to wait...even after all this time, but it's much nicer to be working on my character, serving the Lord, then to wait and constantly be fretful about when the Lord *may* have me marry. Loved that quote that you shared as well! And a beautiful story as well. Thank you for this reminder and encouragement! :D

    Blessings to you all ladies!
    ~Miss Rachel~

  3. Abby, that was great, and just what I needed today. Plus, loved that quote!
    I often struggle withwaiting...even though I'm serving. This has really helped put it into perspective! Keep on posting, and serving the Lord.

    In Christ,
    Micaela :)

    1. I'm so glad that this helped you, Micaela! I'll be sure to stop by your blog :)

      God Bless!

  4. Love it! thanks for sharing this post Abby! It is so true - we can't wait for God's will if we aren't being God's will. Waiting is always an action - even if that action is resting in Him. It's a Him focus - not an us focus :)

    1. So true, Katie! Even if we're focusing on something positive, it's still something for *us* and not for *Him*.

  5. This was an awesome post Abby! God has given you such a gift with words =)

    I remember when I decided at 12 years of age not to have a "crush" on any young man, but to wait for the one God had planned for me. To pursue God's plan for my life whether there was a man in the picture or not. Of course I desired a Godly marriage and as I got older it got harder to place my heart in God's hands and keep it there. However, the more I surrendered to Christ, the easier it became to find peace in knowing He has a plan for my life and that where He has me is in fact the best place for me.

    Your post was a wonderful reminder and encouragement. God doesn't want us to sit and twiddle our thumbs, but to live vibrant lives for Him where He has placed us and with who He has placed us!

    In Christ,


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